How To Start Creating A Healthy, Secure Relationship

If you've only had relationships where you've felt anxious or feared that you were too much, or your partner wasn't interested in your feelings, it can feel pretty scary to begin speaking up. However, in healthy, safe relationships, we can speak our minds, we are heard, our partner seeks to support, listen, soothe and understand, because they care about us. A securely attached person has the expectation that their partner cares about them and meeting their needs. A securely attached person trusts themselves and their feelings and sees their partner as a safe base to turn to. If we want a healthy relationship, we've got to be a part of creating it. Start small- small disclosures of how you're feeling, small statements about things that hurt you or soothe you. And start telling yourself that your partner is genuinely interested in your feelings and needs. Start acting like a securely attached person. I used to ask myself over and over "What would a securely attached person do?" Then I'd do it. Let me know how this works out for you. You only need you to change your relationship.

Please let me know if this is helpful; I hope what worked for me works for you.