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Writer's picturePhoebe Rogers

Why Relationship Coaching With Schema Therapy Works


When you work with me, a Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Coach, you can feel secure in my coaching work and experience. I have experienced therapy and Relationship Coaching as a client. I know what healed me and continues to heal me. I am committed to my personal growth, which has allowed me to serve my Relationship Coaching clients. You’ll be in safe and experienced hands, that deliver practicality, warmth, authenticity, self-disclosure, and hope grounded in knowledge.


Schema Therapy was and continues to be a huge part of my healing journey. Therefore, I use with my clients what worked so well for me: a well-established and evidence-based therapy. Relationship Coaching with me is grounded in Schema Therapy and is tailored to your unique experience and background to help you find and maintain love. Schemas are essentially unhelpful patterns, themes, or ways of seeing the world which impacts our thoughts, feelings and behaviour and were developed in childhood and through traumatic or difficult life experiences.


Most of us instinctively know that we repeat our relationship patterns and that how we choose partners often comes about as a result of childhood trauma and conditioning. Relationship Coaching with me will allow you to work through this in the present, so that we can heal the parts of you that need healing and have hindered a healthy love. When I meet with you, I will thoroughly assess your Schemas. I will get to know which patterns you developed from childhood, how they currently play out in your life, and in dating and intimate relationships in particular. I will look deeply to see your blind spots and ways in which you may have been stuck; then I will guide you with very clear, succinct advice and actions to take to shift these patterns (thoughts, feelings, and behaviours) within dating and your partner choice. I truly believe we don’t have to remain limited by our past.


When Schema Therapy is applied to Relationship Coaching with me, you have a clear map forward. I will give you direct feedback about how your conditioned patterns (Schemas) may be blocking or self-sabotaging you. For example, if you have a Fear of Abandonment Schema, you may attach too quickly and miss red flags. If so, I can support you to stay grounded and soothe your nervous system, and be more intentional with your dating choices. If you have an Emotional Deprivation Schema, I may help you identify partners that offer more emotional warmth, maturity and consistency. If you have a Defectiveness or Shame Schema, I may help you identify how you hold beautiful, vulnerable parts of yourself back, and help you feel safe to express those.


The beautiful thing about Relationship Coaching is that we can catch these patterns early on in your initial assessment and feedback session with me, and we can discuss how they come up on each date, or in between dates, and ‘course correct’. Relationship Coaching will involve shifting unhelpful thought patterns about dating, relationships, and finding love. It will involve strategies of self-soothing, self-validation, and self-dialogue to get you through the bumps. Relationship Coaching with me is tailored specifically for your situation and grounded in science, personal healing, and all things love. I will help you to keep your heart open even if you are scared. I have been there and I have faced my past to find a healthy love. Without therapy and Relationship Coaching, I don’t think I would have found such a secure and healthy love. After all, isn’t this what most of us long for?


I offer Relationship Coaching in person in my practice in Randwick, Sydney, or online. If you’d like to discuss Relationship Coaching further or know more please email me at progers@therapist.net or call 0404 247 383.



Book recommendation to understand your Schemas: https://www.schematherapy.com/id202.htm



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